George W. Bush is a Slow-Witted Liar and I Hate Him!

George W. Bush is a Slow-Witted Liar and I Hate Him!
by Commissarka Pinkie

My fellow comrades:

As the subject line indicates, George W. Bush is a slow-witted liar. And I hate him. He is so slow-witted that on September 11, 2001, it took him seven whole minutes to realize what he should have known already, since he was in on the conspiracy—that planes had flown into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.

You’d think that he couldn’t get any more slow-witted than that, but no. Look at how long it took him to come up with an explanation—and a pretty lame one at that—for why he just sat there for seven minutes like the creeping slug he is, trail of slime and all . . .

Almost ten years!

Ten years to come up with a half-baked, half-assed, half-witted lie—jeez, you’d think someone who lies as much as he does would at least be good at it—in desperate hope of covering up his unprecedented stupidity. You’d think there could be no greater testimony than this to his unparalleled ignorance and inimitable ineptitude, but I’m sure there are such testimonies and rest assured they are legion.

Read this, if you dare, and I will dare you not to puke:

http://news.yahoo.com/bush-explains-slow-reaction-september-11-attacks-230850794.html


Quote:
Former President George W. Bushsays his apparent lack of reaction to the first news of the September 11 2001 attacks was a conscious decision to project an aura of calm in a
crisis.

Apparent? How about obvious? How about blatant? And conscious? When has he ever been conscious of anything? I have drunks on the floor of my hovel more aware of what’s going on than he ever was. And that’s after I bash their brains in with my shovel.

But still Bush lies, while thousands die:


Quote:
"My first reaction was anger. Who the hell would do that to America? Then I immediately focused on the children, and the contrast between the attack and the innocence of children," Bush says in an excerpt of the interview shown to television writers on Thursday.

Ha! Like he never knew who the hell would do something like that to America! He orchestrated the whole thing and then tried to blame it on the Religion of Peace, so he could have an excuse to pound them into the sand and steal their oil the way he stole the presidency—just like he stole from the government by giving tax cuts to his fat cat billionaire and millionaire cronies, and corporate jet owners (who should never be confused with billionaires and millionaires, but are just as evil), and to junior senators from Illinois who didn’t need them and never asked for them. The nerve of Bush, forcing decent American citizens to take stuff they don’t need and never asked for. And since when did he ever care about the children?

But wait, there’s more . . .

Quote:
Bush said he quickly realized that a lot of people beyond the classroom would be watching for his reaction.
Can you believe his narcissism? (Oh yes, stupid incompetents can be narcissistic, too!) Instead of thinking about the children, or the thousands he’d just killed, or all the destruction he’d wrought so far and the destruction he had yet to wreak, what was he thinking about? How he looked! What people might think about him, or say about him! The world is falling to pieces all around him, and all he can do is sit there and wonder if his fly is open. Or maybe not, since stupid people tend to be oblivious to open flies.
But the narcissism doesn’t stop there. Just look at how many times he says “I” in this statement:

Quote:
"So I made the decision not to jump up immediately and leave the classroom. I didn't want to rattle the kids. I wanted to project a sense of calm," he said of his decision to remain seated and silent.

Oh, baloney. He simply didn’t know what he should do, except sit there looking as if he’s above the fray. Talk about a failure of leadership. Talk about incompetence. Talk about not being able to handle that phone ringing at 3 in the morning, even if it was just after 9.

Quote:
Executive producer and director Peter Schnall said Bush, who has adopted a low public profile since leaving office in January 2009, brought no notes to the interview.
Obviously Mr. Schnall didn’t check the palms of Bush’s hands. Everyone knows that’s where stupid people write their notes.

Quote:
"What you hear is the personal story of a man who also happened to be our president.
Listening to him describe how he grappled with a sense of anger and frustration coupled with his personal mandate to lead our country through this devastating attack was incredibly powerful," Schnall said.
Why, this is nothing but shameless right-wing propaganda! He did not happen to be our president! He stole to be president of a bunch of right wing loons. Where does Schnall—whose name sounds suspiciously German and ergo Nazi to me—but where does he get off saying that Bush had a mandate?

I don’t believe any of this, comrades. To believe it would require me to accept that maybe George W. Bush once told the truth. That maybe he cares, even if he doesn’t care as much as I do. That maybe he isn’t the vilest, most depraved clump of cells ever to multiply in the swamp from whence he surely emerged.

No, he had some other reason for just sitting there, and the only possible explanation is that he was too stupid to know what to do.

Now, if anyone has any dumber ideas about why he just sat there, I’d like to hear them.

Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People’s Cube, and is renowned and admired by the masses for her dedication to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn’t busy making an issue out of everything, she likes to unwind by beating proles with her shovel, spending other people’s money, and indulging her Obamaphilia with Obamabilia until she’s Obamabilious.