It is Time for a Purge!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
9/3/2011, 4:47 pm

There were once heddy times not to many moons ago when the balance of loyal subjects comrades here on the Cube were.... well... LOYAL!

But as of late, I find my Progressive moral being sapped by SOME people (...and you know who you are...) who lack confidence in Die Führer's capability to lead us to ultimate victory! And we are more than a year away from the election!

Even in Libya, there were several state news media anchors who waved guns about and swore to battle to the death! Yet here on the HMS Cube, the die Ratten der Flucht vor dem Schiff!

I am tired of the whinging babies who moan at every inconsequential drop in the polls or every meaningless rise in the unemployment numbers... and start criticising the Die Führer behind HIS back. Do not they understand that polls and elections are meaningless! Do not they realise that MORE unemployed rubes means more voters in need of government "compassion™ ".

Apparently, many did not undertake their loyalty oath to Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) without some mental reservation and/or purpose of evasion... And frankly, I do not find that very progressive... not at all! In fact, I feel quite certain that there may be several here that are actually (gasp!) Tea-rrorist SPYS!

I have studied the archives very closely, and discoverd that it has been quite some time since the last good purge here on the Cube. We have become much too slack in our party discipline... perhaps this was to expose the "DIS-loyal opposition"

So! As a loyal Inner Party MADE PROG, it is my pleasure duty to announce a good ole-school Stalinist style PURGE!!!

Yes, friends! We're going to clean house... you know... midnight knocks on the door... the black vans with the big goons who swerve into your path by the pavement to scoop you up... gangs stringing up diserters from the nearest street lamp...show trials...kangaroo courts... the fatal denouncements... the psychiatric hospital referrals... and of course the EXECUTIONS (public...of course)!

Yes... I'm talkin' OLE school! You know the kind of senseless purges where even the most loyal comments could be misconstrued as disloyal...and EVERYONE never left home without their little blue book!

But wait! There's more... If you file an E-indictment on the Cube in a denouncement that leads to a fair trial and a proper hanging... you may receive an additional ration of Chocolate and receive your choice of confectionary delights from the Peoples' Wet Goods store... {See Below for more offer details}

Bring Out the Long Knives!
Let the Purges Begin!!!

Some restrictions do apply; not valid in all stores; made progs exempt from indictment; failure to receive a valid conviction against fellow party members may have unintended side effects such as insomnia, hair loss, drooping members, uneven weight loss (especially above the neck), shock therapy, acute lead poisoning, etc. etc....