Sunday, October 2, 2011

Buck-toothed Lesbian Blogger: It’s Really God’s Fault that Palin Hasn’t Decided

Gosh darn it! How long does it take for God to make up his mind whether he wants Sarah to run for President? He’s had plenty of time. Sarah has talked with him often, so he’s had ample opportunity to bring up the subject. What’s wrong with him? Is He scared or intimidated by her? Is he afraid that Todd and his buddies will beat him up?

From the minute the election of 2008 was over, God should have been considering all options. What was he thinking? Tim Pawlenty declared his intention to run in March 2011.That should have been a wake-up call to God, if he wanted Sarah to run. That should have jogged his memory. God knew during the summer that the Undefeated was defeated. Did he speak out then? No! God knew almost one year ago that America by Heart was disappointing. Duh!!! As early as January of this year, God knew that Sarah Palin’s Alaska would not be renewed. He knew then that her popularity was on the decline, but did we hear a peep out of him? He probably knows that her contract with Fox will not be renewed, so what will she do for money if she doesn’t run? That’s not like God to leave her hanging!

God must have set-up Sarah Palin for failure when he sent Glen Rice to Alaska.

When her bus was decorated to be a trademark infringement did God think that He was being subtle? When God inspired Sarah Palin to re-tell the story of Paul Revere’s historic ride, was he just having a difficult day? What was he thinking?

God must have known that to be seriously considered as a candidate for President of the U.S., that every candidate would be expected to demonstrate proficiency in the English language. It is a requirement, not optional. “Shacke-ly”, “refudiate,” “misunderestimate” and “squirmish” should have each been a red flag that Palin was not a person who would inspire confidence. The Lord said the “the meek shall inherit the earth,” but God knows the difference between “meek” and “ignorant.” Rabbi Akiba said God has a sense of humor, but “President Palin” isn’t funny. Surely God has told Sarah by now that she should not run, but Sarah must think he’ll change his mind. If God was an all-merciful God, he would have put Sarah and the entire country out of our misery long ago.

We have Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry who are all part of “God’s Chosen.” Maybe it’s not so special to be part of the “chosen” if this is the way God treats his favorites. Either God is deceiving us or he has spoken to Sarah Palin and told her she is not equipped to be the President. Either the Holy Spirit has lost his voice trying to send a message to Sarah, or the end is near.

Maybe the signs God has been sending have been messages to the rest of us. Maybe it was a sign from god when Governor Palin quit her job as Governor that she was irresponsible. Perhaps when Sarah said she had been a victim of “Blood Libel” it was a reminder from God that WE had been the victims of Sarah Palin. Maybe when she referred to our “North Korean Allies” it was God’s way of warning us that Sarah Palin was the enemy. When Sarah Palin declared that Ronald Reagan went to college in California, maybe it was God’s way of reminding us that Sarah should go back to school. When she said Trig was born in Anchorage, was it a reminder that God wanted Trig to return to his birth mother. When she wrote on her hand, could that have been a sign from God that we should write her off? When Glenn Beck was fired could that have been a sign that Palin is poison to anyone who associates with her? Palin said when she was tapped by John McCain that it was part of God’s plan. If it was God’s Plan, and McCain lost the election, then God must have been trying to send us a message that we each have to take responsibility for ensuring that our elected officials are the most educated, competent, and capable leaders in the country. Maybe God sent these signs and Sarah is not able to see them. It is our job to make sure that Republicans, Democrats, and Independents see the signs and vote accordingly.

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