Santa Forbidden to Say “Merry Christmas”

Dec. 08, 2011
Santa Forbidden to Say “Merry Christmas”

Michael Graham reports from the front lines in the War on Christmas in liberal Taxachusetts:

On Sunday evening, my kids and I dropped into the Friendly’s in Sudbury for a post-Christmas-shopping-day treat. They got ice cream decorated with smiley-faces, and I got a few minutes of blessed relief from “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” blasting from the car’s CD player.

Suddenly the door at Friendly’s swings open and who to my wondering eyes should appear, but … SANTA! Perfect timing: Ice cream, kids and Santa Claus — what could be better on a December’s eve?

I watched as Santa, dressed in full regalia including the little Santa spectacles on his nose, worked his way from table to table, greeting the delighted children.

“Merry Christmas,” the kids cried.

“Happy Holidays,” Santa replied.

Every table, the same thing from Santa: “Happy Holidays.” Not a single “Christmas” crossed his lips. So by the time he made it back to our booth, I was ready.

“Santa, thanks so much for stopping by to wish my kids a ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” I said before he could even speak.

“Happy Holidays!” he returned.

“And how about a ‘Merry Christmas’ for the kids?” I insisted.

“Happy Holidays, kids,” he insisted right back.

I pushed him again, even more directly, and he glared at me. A deep, dark, “Omigodit’s CreepySanta” glare that kids know and secretly fear every time they see the Big Guy at the mall.

Through gritted teeth came the final “Happy Holidays” before he quickly moved on to the next table.

Don’t come down too hard on Santa; refraining from saying the forbidden word “Christmas” was apparently a condition of his employment.

Every year liberals move the battle lines in their War on Christmas. It has already reached the point that acknowledging a holiday that 95% of Americans celebrate feels like a faux pas. Graham wonders,

Why go to so much trouble to ruin other people’s fun? If you really are so fouled up inside that you can’t find joy in Christmas, why not simply ignore it?

Here’s why: the rawest essence of liberalism is coercion. Every other principle can go out the window if it has too, but the coercion will remain because a liberal by definition is someone who worships it. That’s why coercion is their solution to every problem, and why the motto “live and let live” will never be applied by liberals to those they oppose.

If moonbats keep winning the War on Christmas, within a few years, these fascist Grinches will be sending inspectors into private homes to make sure no one puts up a Christmas tree, on the pretext that the trees are a fire hazard, or that cutting them down deprives the purple-sphinctered forest grouse of its nesting habitat.

On tips from Bernie and Mary.