Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Maynard Sez: Obama Wants Civil War

by Maynard on March 6, 2012

So I (Maynard) am sitting at my PC figuring out what I’ll do for backup after I let my Carbonite contract lapse. I had planned on renewing it, but now I won’t.

You know why. Carbonite weighed in against Rush, and they did it in a big way. The political alignment of the company is in-your-face and offensive. So now, dammit, I’m forced to do something. I’d really rather not.

I could launch into an anti-Carbonite tirade, but other people are already doing enough of that. Here, for example, is a post on Red State.

So I don’t want to talk about the fight, I want to talk about why we’re having this fight. How did we get here? Did we have a choice? Do we now have a choice?

I’m acting in reaction to Carbonite, which was acting in reaction to Rush, who was acting in reaction to that public slut liberated woman, who was acting in reaction to, oh, never mind, my head is spinning.

Does this stuff just happen, and happen, and happen? Are we nothing more than links in an endless chain of toppling dominoes?

No, dammit, the human adventure starts somewhere. At least for the purpose of my narration, it does.

Let’s think about this.

Tammy speaks much of distractions, of shiny things. She’s credited Santorum for triggering this particular diversion.

Tammy has been following these details much more closely than I have. So maybe I’m off base in what I’m about to say. But I’m grasping for the bigger picture.

Step back and consider this broad question: How can a diverse group of people coexist without beating the hell out of each other? Under what circumstances do we “tolerate” the other guy, versus the circumstances under which we put a stop to whatever he’s doing?

If we draw the lines in the right places, then we achieve e pluribus unum. Push too far in one direction and the human spirit gets crushed by the state. Push too far in the other direction and anarchy rules the day.

We got here because we, as a culture, as a society, trod upon that live wire known as “contraception”. That was the burning match that started the immediate conflagration.

The topic of contraception touches us in deeply personal ways. People feel very strongly about this stuff. And so they should.

My advocacy is one of respecting, as much as possible, the other guy’s turf. Sure, the other guy is a moron and a jerk. And he thinks the same about me. But maybe we can live together if we accept that we each have a little piece of the world that we can call our own. We’ll continue to struggle in the shared space, but we’ve each got someplace where the world is as it should be.

Obviously there are limits. I’m not going to respect your right to molest children in your home. But whenever I advocate that you be forced to take a particular action, I ask: Is there a compelling reason for your personal judgment to be overruled? Not a good reason, you understand, but a compelling reason. Unless it’s a matter of absolute necessity, we must convince rather than coerce.

I don’t want to get in a big fight with you over trivia. I don’t like to fight with people.

So my natural inclination is to tread softly if I come near your turf. Even if you’re a moron.

Then there’s Obama.

Okay, I’m stupid and unenlightened. Too stupid to make my own choices regarding contraception, light bulbs, medical care, toilet height, sodium intake, seat belts, smoking, whatever.

I’m also too stupid to follow wise advice. I’m too stupid to listen to my betters.

That’s why I need to be given orders.

It’s not like I’m a member of the Taliban, and Obama feels a need to win over my heart. No, I’m an American citizen of the lowest order (that would be a middle class white male, and not attached to any special interest group). So there’s no need for subtlety.

As the young man said, “You need someone older and wiser telling you what to do.” (By unfortunate coincidence, it turns out the gentleman that utters those lines is a Nazi. Although I suppose it’s not fair to let a single bad example invalidate the Führerprinzip.)

Enough bombast. You get the point.

Contraceptives are cheap. Contraceptives are widely available. Contraceptives are not an endangered species. Many Americans have strong opinions about privacy, about propriety, about intimacy, about contraceptives, abortifacients, etc, etc.

Why can’t we all just get along? I’ll tell you why. Because someone decided America needs a one-size-fits-all solution to a delicate issue. And the someone that decided this thing isn’t satisfied by merely telling us about his ideas and hoping we’ll embrace them because he’s so darned clever. This someone thinks he has the power and even the obligation to impose his new framework upon us. That’s the only way we can be “transformed”.

So what happens? We all know what happens. This happens:



And we all get so busy that we lose sight of what started the fracas or what its goal is.

Obama knows what he’s doing. You bet he does.

That’s why Obama needed to make the Pope buy condoms for the public slut liberated woman. But he has no reason to make Warren Buffett (or his overtaxed secretary) buy aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper for her (or for you).

If Obama didn’t want us beating the crap out of each other, if he were a uniter and a peacemaker and a peacekeeper, he’d give out the aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper. That stuff is a lot more medically necessary than condoms. Then we’d work it out somehow. Maybe the public slut liberated woman could go back to CVS and say, “Excuse me, I bought these aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper by mistake. I don’t have a headache or an ouchie or need a restroom break; I want sex. It’s a medical necessity. So please let me trade these aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper for condoms. Yes, the ribbed glow-in-the-dark licorice-flavored magnums. You’re welcome. Please order more, because I’ll be back tomorrow.” Then everybody could be happy. The public slut liberated woman could take her hour of recreation, and the Pope could pretend that he wasn’t paying people to fornicate. America could remain a united entity. Sure, we’d continue to squabble, but in a family sort of way.

(By the way, one reason (among many) that I don’t want Uncle Sugar or Warren Buffett to buy aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper for me is that those 99-cent aspirin and Band-Aids and toilet paper would then end up costing $50, by the time the government was done with the paperwork and inspections and certifications that the goods were produced by union members and transported by magnetic levitation using a carbon-neutral process in a peanut-free zone. Also, there is a loss of human dignity when we must beg for toilet paper. But I digress.)

Obama has turned brother against brother. We fight with each other because Obama wants us, and needs us, to fight. We look upon each other with disgust because Obama has, with malice and self-serving intent, transformed e pluribus unum to e pluribus rectum.

The nastier it gets, the more likely Obama’s reelection is. Because the bigger the brawl, the more we lose sight of what we’re brawling about.

That’s why I don’t want to dwell on Carbonite, or on Rush, or on that public slut liberated woman, or any of the other dupes and useful idiots and well-meaning fools and innocent bystanders. I mean, I can’t entirely ignore them. But let’s dump Carbonite and leave the public slut liberated woman to her carnal pleasures and keep our eye on the ball.

Our goals are simple: Live within our means, and respect the Constitution. If we achieve those goals, we can survive as a nation and as a people. Fail and we lose our heritage and our humanity and our future.

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