Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Obama so busy not knowing about Benghazi scandal he also missed IRS mess

May 28, 2013

AP (10 days after learning Benghazi deaths were really terrorism, Obama tells the U.N. an anti-Islam American video was responsible.)

Fallon: At a recent fundraiser Obama noted a shortage of common sense in Washington. Then, the people who had just paid $5,000 per plate applauded.

Leno: Not looking good for President Obama with all these scandals. Today, his teleprompter took the Fifth.

Conan: A new report says someone close to Obama knew about the IRS scandal and kept his mouth shut. In other words, we can rule out Joe Biden.

Conan: England is sending its first astronaut to the International Space Station. He’s the first astronaut looking forward to the food.

Conan: Lamborghini is celebrating its 50th anniversary. Lamborghini is so freaked out by turning 50 that it just bought itself a Lamborghini.

Leno: All these scandals are looking really bad for President Obama. So bad that people in Kenya are now saying he's 100% American.

Leno: Mitch McConnell says Obama fosters a ‘culture of intimidation.’ Seriously? Is anyone intimidated by Obama? He can’t even keep Joe Biden in line.

Leno: North Korea fires six missiles recently trying to get the U.S. to pay them to stop. Shows how isolated North Korea is. They still think we have money.

Letterman: Rough times nowadays for Obama. The Big Benghazi scandal. The Big IRS scandal The Big phone-tapping scandal. Now he's also got to replace all four 'American Idol' judges.

Letterman: New York City’s new bike-borrowing program. Get a bike here. Drop it off there. People think it's new. No. It's like a Kardashian husband.

Conan: Yahoo's CEO, who just bought Tumblr for $1.1 billion, says she will not remove porn from the site. Asked why, she said, “Because I don’t want to lose $1.1 billion."

Conan: A Georgia college student feared his parents would be angry for his F in English. He faked his own kidnapping. However, the parents figured it out when the ransom note said, “We Has Your Son.”

Leno: President Obama told Morehouse College graduates they have a great future ahead. Unless of course, they want jobs. Then they're totally screwed.

Leno: Mary J Blige has been slapped with a $3.4 million tax bill by the IRS. I did not know she was a Tea Party member.

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