Secretary of Statements

FRIDAY, MAY 9, 2014

Secretary of Statements

Following the abduction of hundreds of Nigerian schoolgirls by radical Islamic terrorists who are selling the girls into lives of nightmarish torture and sex slavery,  Secretary of State John Kerry delivered a blistering speech in Ethiopia about the most despicable and unacceptable aspect of the kidnappers: "They don't offer a health care plan."

Apparently believing that he's involved in some kind of election debate against the murderous group Boko Haram (not to be confused with Procol Harum whose classic hit "Whiter Shade of Pale" was about Kerry's wealthy social circle), Kerry reeled off a list of the terrorists' failings: "They don't offer a health care plan, they don't offer schools. They don't tell you how to build a nation, they don't talk about how they will provide jobs. They just tell people, 'you have to behave the way we tell you to,' and they will punish you if you don't."

Of course, under the Obama administration millions are losing their healthcare plans, schools are in the dumper, we can't build an oil pipeline - let alone rebuild our nation, and "telling us" about providing jobs hasn't provided any jobs. And as far as punishing people who don't behave as they're told, we'll simply mention those shiny new fines for those who don't have health insurance and - oh yeah - the scandalous IRS slash and burn campaign to cripple conservative free speech.

But let's get back to the horrifying situation being faced by those kidnapped schoolgirls. With a real life-and-death "War on Women" staring the Obama administration in the face, just what are they doing to provide help?

Actually, not very damn much. They're sending a handful of "communications experts," who hopefully haven't been recruited to set up a new Healthcare.gov website that will make it "easy-peasy" (in the words of Valerie Jarrett) for the terrorists to choose between bronze, silver, and gold healthcare plans for their young victims.

Additionally, members of the Obama administration are taking part in an aggressive, no holds barred, social media campaign consisting entirely of posting "selfies" on Twitter while holding cardboard signs that say "#BringBackOurGirls."  Michelle Obama herself has posted such a picture, which is ironic considering she drags her own daughters out of their homeland as often as possible and refuses to "bring them back" until she's blown through tens of millions of taxpayer dollars.

The hate-filled Islamists of Boko Haram are intent on destroying Western values wherever they find them - and destroying the lives and innocence of young schoolgirls for the simple cruel pleasure and financial benefits of doing do. These monsters deserve a harsh and highly-kinetic justice administered without mercy.

Just for starters, Secretary Kerry, we'd like to suggest hellfire missiles rather than inane healthcare speeches.

Remember, terrorists - only YOU can make Michelle smile again.