April 19, 2012
Posted by: AWD
Dear 99%er Rube,
Want to meet George Clooney and Barack Obama and a roomful of the 1%ers you hate — at one of Clooney’s gigantic houses that uses more electricity than New Mexico?
He’s hosting really, really rich supporters at his home next month to help build support for this campaign and elect President Obama in November. And he’s saving seats for two grassroots losers supporters like you and their guests. It’s just not a chance most people get — well, ever. Because you’re a 99% loser who cannot afford the $35,800 to get in. And, even though President Obama pays lip service to you and your fellow worthless Occupy 99% moochers, he knows it is the 1% Wall Streeters and Hollywood types who are paying for his reelection campaign. And you ought to see what those 1%ers in China are sending in untraceable credit card transactions!
For a chance to hang out with President Obama at George Clooney’s house, donate $3 or whatever you can (for God’s sake!) to be automatically entered to win. And, by hanging out, we mean you’ll be allowed in the back door for approximately 15 seconds where the 1%ers will stare and ask themselves “who let the riff-raff in?” Then off you go out the door into the waiting Secret Service Suburban to be whisked off as fast as possible to ensure you don’t further embarrass the 1%ers by having to look at your horrid Target-purchased ensemble. After you leave, the 1% guests will be told you were with the catering company and went in the wrong door. You don’t really think the 1%ers who have paid $35k a ticket want to hear you brag about pooping on a police car, do you?
George Clooney is doing his part to help re-elect the President, but he also knows that it’s losers folks like you who will decide this election. That’s why we’re reserving a few spots for grassroots supporters. Sure, you won’t get invited to visit the White House or get that big “green energy” boondoggle loan, but you’ll be able to be in the same city as the President and a guy who makes atrociously bad movies for a little while! The other reason we’re reserving a few spots for worthless moochers like you is that so many of the 1%ers who gave to Obama in 2008 won’t return our calls anymore and we don’t want the fundraiser to only have President Obama and George Clooney in attendance. So we now have to beg you 99%er losers for $3 measly dollars! Hope and change, baby!
If you donate $3 or whatever you can today…hell, we’ll take anything, you’ll be doing your part to support the campaign, and be automatically entered to join them in Los Angeles. If you’re lucky, maybe the Secret Service will drop you off on Sunset Strip and introduce you to some of their favorite hooker friends! All that for a lousy $3!
If you ask me, this is far too good to pass up. But if you also ask me, anyone that would pay $3 to be in the company of Obama and Clooney is a stupid idiot:
https://donate.barackobama.com/Obama-Clooney-and-You-The-Loser
Thanks,
Julianna
Julianna (I Hate This F@#&ing Job) Smoot
Deputy Campaign Manager
Obama for America
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