The Obama campaign has long pandered to diverse groups for votes. The recent “African Americans for Obama” program was highly controversial. Since then, Obama has created several other groups to which he can pander to bolster his waning support with living, breathing Americans.
The Obama campaign has also created the following groups:
-Women For Obama
-Homosexuals For Obama
-Metrosexuals for Obama (closely associated with Homosexuals For Obama)
-Bi Sexuals For Obama
-Tri Sexuals For Obama
-Not Really Sure What The Hell You Are For Obama
-Pet Lovers For Obama
-Illegal Aliens For Obama
-Real Aliens From Outer Space For Obama
-People Who Cannot Read For Obama (targeted at graduates of the Detroit School System)
-Communists For Obama (commonly known as the DNC)
-People Who Don’t Even Know Who Obama Is For Obama
Today, the Obama 2012 Campaign announced its most controversial group, the Deceased For Obama. Campaign official Karl Marxton said:
“While the deceased have a long history of supporting Democrats, the Obama campaign decided to make a more official organization to encourage the deceased to turn out even more votes for President Obama in November. We have to credit ACORN’s continued efforts in working with the dead to keep progressive leaders in office.”
Speaking through spirit medium Morticia Garofalo, the ghost of Ted Kennedy said:
“Even though I am no longa banging cocktail waitresses three at a time on Earth and drowning bimbos, I can still do my paht for the Democrat cause here in Hell. Why, Hell is filled with Democrat voters who are willing and able, with the help of ACORN, to keep Democrats in office with their votes!”
The Obama Campaign is looking to expand the ‘Deceased For Obama’ program into other countries to ensure victories in the 2012 election and beyond. Next up is the ‘Deceased Chinese for Obama’ program.
Campaign official Marxton:
“With 1.2 billion Chinese alive, think of all the dead ones ready to vote for Obama. And with more and more Chinese driving cars these days, the dead are piling up over there like never before! Chinese drivers have put Mao to shame! It’s entirely possible, even likely, that President Obama will carry the entire dead Chinese vote!”
President Obama is suffering collapsing poll numbers among the living in America. He will need the help of the dead, and possibly the undead, to remain in office. However, there is no word if the Obama campaign has made any serious overtures to the Vampire community.
Source: Angry White Dude
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