Comrades, it is with great joy that I report victory in Red Square's long march to capture the People's hearts and minds in Pennsylvania. He rode into town to throngs of cheering supporters and after a lite snack set right to work executing his brilliant battle plan of conquest.
As you can see the proletariat were eager to hear his words thanks to the efforts of our media tools who waged a relentless three day effort to incite the masses. The crowd was estimated to be in the hundreds.
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