Burglars’ Rights Defended in UK [Satire]

The ability of burglars to ply their trade in the United Kingdom was given a boost in two recent incidents. In one, police ordered residents in Surrey and Kent to remove wire mesh from windows because it “could injure burglars.” “Wire mesh is an unexpected and abnormal structure for a home window,” police spokesman Reginald Addleman pointed out. “Persons breaking into buildings could be seriously injured. Treating such avoidable injuries would stress the already tight budgets of the National Health Service. Property owners have no right to impose these costs onto the rest of the nation.” In another, police chastised...