How dare you question the Messiah?

Administration spokesperson defends Obamas' lavish, expensive, high fat diet and dinners

(Washington, D.C. - 6/12/11) After the American public noticed the Obamas don't necessarily follow their own advice when it comes to healthy eating, the administration found it necessary to issue an explanation regarding White House eating habits:

"During the past 2 years, the White House has introduced many measures to entice the American public away from fast food and unhealthy snacks to a healthier diet of vegetables, fruits and grain. This message is being sent to public schools as well as parents, in the best interest of the children of America, to reduce obesity and encourage regular exercise."

"Growing your own vegetables is one way for Americans to commune with nature and it gives a pure sense of satisfaction to see food grown from seeds. We are setting the example."

"Regardless, we have been criticized recently for seemingly not following our own advice when it comes to expensive dinners and chile dogs. Nothing could be further from the truth. The members of the administration have found it completely necessary to reduce the risk among teenagers by consuming as much non-healthy food as they can, with the rationalization the if they eat it, the less is available to the public. You see, it's a glorious sacrifice of their health, for America."

"It's tough eating lobster, crab and chile dogs each and every day, but the American public can feel pure satisfaction at dining on salad, bean sprouts and carrots while knowing we are making huge sacrifices for their benefit."