Der Fuhrer Insults Dear Leader

Comrade Vlad Linen
9/18/2011, 3:58 am

Dear Comrades,

I must tell you how outraged I am at Der Fuhrer. How DARE he insult our great Dear Leader? You know, I don't mind it when Der Fuhrer rants about his evil REICHWING CAPITALIST pizza being late, or getting kicked off Twitter, or Facebook being too slow. These things are all evil CAPITALIST creations and the problems Der Fuhrer is experiencing with them are most likely the fault of the evil BusHitler. But when Der Fuhrer just starts saying Dear Leader may as well write a one line bill that says he wants to spend $450 billion, I draw the line. Worse yet, he calls Dear Leader a lightweight!! Does Der Fuhrer not realize this is an emergency and we just need to pass the bill immediately? We can find out what's in it later.

Dear Leader read the glorious People's Teleprompter for quite a long time. Dear Leader said he wanted the evil REICHWING rich to pay more. He said he was going to eliminate deductions (what Dear Leader calls loopholes). He said he would hire more teachers. And he would create a special new opportunity for glorious lawyers to sue: if you've been out of work for more than six months and you don't get hired. Dear Leader also said he would extend welfare unemployment. Dear Leader even recited part of the Pledge of Allegiance that he dislikes so much. Then he said some mushy stuff about America just to try to pull the wool over the eyes of those stupid redneck hick REICHWINGERS. Dear Leader promised to fix all the crumbling people's roads and bridges like he was supposed to do in the first failed stimulus. All Dear Leader asked was that they passed the bill immediately, right in front of him, before he even provided the text. The details don't matter. This is an emergency now that Dear Leader is back from Martha's Vineyard!

I am just so offended at Der Fuhrer for talking down our great and glorious Dear Leader! And if that was not bad enough, Der Fuhrer insults FDR too.