S & P Downgrades MSNBC Host's IQ

In light of resent idiotic statements, Standard and Poor’s took the unprecedented action today of downgrading media personality Special Ed Schultz IQ. While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the IQ downgrade could result in Schultz having difficulty completing sentences, drooling or operating a television remote.

Ed & Edith Shultz (circa 2011 Romper Room)

Insiders at MSNBC, the unruly little bastard brother of the once respected NBC News, says Schlutz recent psychotic outbursts and rambling diatribes against anyone on the right is in some part his attempt to remain ahead of the networks newest ratings sensation, the always eloquent cultural pundit and International Geopolitical expert, Al Sharpton. At this writing, they seem to be in a heated race to the bottom of the cable ratings.


Schultz's twin sister Edith Schultz Hayes, wife of Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the heir to the Tampon fortune told Diogenes the family all think Ed is "very special", but fear he may pop a tube right there on the air. "Eddy and I grew up poor" she said, and that Ed was sometime forced to wear Edith's clothes. "That and eating his boogers kinda made Ed a little twisted, ya know."

(Stretchmarks from excessive consumption of bullshit)