Nanny of the Week: Get caught wearing yoga pants three times, go to jail for life

2/17/2015

Part 33 of 33 in the series Nanny State of the Week

By Eric Boehm | Watchdog.org

Another Republican lawmaker is proving he’s a champion for limited government.

Okay, not really.

Image via Ballotpedia

JUST CALL HIM CAPTAIN TIGHTPANTS: State Rep. Dave Moore, R-Missoula, is on a crusade against tight-fitting clothing – because that’s what state government should be used for.

In fact, Montana state Dave Moore, R-Missoula, believes government should be big enough to control your clothing choices. He proposed legislation that would outlaw almost any skin-tight clothing — including things like yoga pants and Speedos — and would make it illegal for men to expose their nipples in public.

Moore’s crusade against tight clothing and partially naked men began last year, when he was apparently angered by a group of bicyclists who rode naked through Missoula, according to the Billings Gazette.

And if you dare to wear yoga pants or other tight-fitting clothing in Montana, Moore would like to see you thrown in jail — at least, he’s not opposed to it.

Moore said he wouldn’t have a problem with people being arrested for wearing provocative clothing, but that he’d trust law enforcement officials to use their discretion, the Gazette reported.

That’s good, because if police are known for anything, it’s being able to fairly enforce rules that are both ridiculous and vague, am I right?

As it stands now, indecent exposure in Montana carries a $500 fine for a first offense. A third offense can result in a $10,000 fine and — we’re not making this up — life in prison.

Life. In prison. For indecent exposure.

And Moore thinks that’s a law that needs to be more harsh than it already is?

There is no doubt naked men (particularly men from Montana) riding bikes through town is an image that will burn into the back of your eyes for a long time. And, yes, yoga pants probably shouldn’t be culturally acceptable outerwear for activities that don’t take place in a yoga studio.

As a state lawmaker, it’s perhaps understandable Moore sees this as a problem that can be solved with laws.

After all, when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Here’s the one bit of good news: Moore’s bill would eliminate the life-in-prison punishment and decrease it to a maximum of five years behind bars, which still seems a little harsh. He told the Gazette the reduction in punishment is meant to encourage enforcement of the law.

But this is nannyism run rampant — and literally running the risk of ruining peoples’ lives over poor fashion choices. If Republicans like Moore want to take the message of smaller government seriously, they should work to remove such excessive punishments from the books, not add to them.

Part of 33 in the series Nanny State of the Week

1. Nanny-state state of the week: MD may become first to ban Vaportinis
2. Nanny-state city of the week: Minneapolis wants to ban take-out trays
3. Skim is in: CT lawmakers want to ban whole milk in day cares
4. Nanny state of the week: Fairfax, VA, wants to limit the right to assemble
5. Nanny state of the week: SC — and Schumer — for duplicative efforts to ban powdered alcohol
6. Nanny of the Week: Virginia hoses down car wash fundraisers
7. Nanny of the Week: Even a summertime trip to the beach can’t be nanny-free
8. Nanny of the week: Federal authorities think feral cats can read signs
9. Nanny of the week: Cambridge wants to ban ride-sharing services like Uber and Lyft
10. Nanny-stater of the week: NY lawmaker wants to ban photos with tigers
11. Nanny-stater of the Week: Who needs cupcakes and candy? Here, have a pencil
12. Nanny-stater of the week: Fargo limits kids to less than four shots of juice per day
13. Nanny-stater of the week: Wisconsin towns fight repeal of bow ban
14. Nanny of the week: No fun in the sun, thanks to Congress and FDA
15. Nanny-stater of the week: DOT to ban cell phone use on planes
16. Nanny of the week: The out-of-control trend of arresting non-helicopter moms
17. Nanny of the Week: Vermont city could ban ‘human activity’
18. Nanny of the Week: Mississippi makes bird feeders illegal – by accident
19. Nanny of the week: MO town bans breastfeeding near pools
20. Nanny of the Week: School bans lip balm, 11 year-old girl fights back
21. Watchdog.org blows lid off Vermont’s bake sale brownie ban
22. Nanny of the Week: Seattle imposes fine on residents who throw away food
23. Nanny of the Week: California bans plastic bags
24. Nanny of the week: Maybe this time it will be different for Chicago
25. Nanny of the Week: Florida growls at craft breweries’ growlers
26. Nanny of the Week: Massachusetts town seeking to ban tobacco faces uprising from residents
27. Nanny of the Week: Proposed bans on Thanksgiving Day shopping
28. Nanny of the week: U.S. government bans ‘Comfyballs’ underwear
29. Nanny of the Week: Better take down those holiday decorations
30. Nanny of the week: Towns ban sledding
31. Nanny of the Week: New York City plans to ban out-of-state cars
32. Nanny of the Week: Snow-shoveling teens get in trouble with the law
33. Nanny of the Week: Get caught wearing yoga pants three times, go to jail for life

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